It is a pain and never easy to be under the weather for most part of my life. But I guess, the inevitable suffering of physical illness or pain simply reflect the very fact that we are very much alive and human in this samsara. I am just one of such.
As I learn, physical body experiences is pretty much influenced by past karmic actions and current lifestyle. While modern medicine has helped me to a certain degree, it addresses only the ailing part in isolation from the rest, treating it as if fixing a malfunctioning part of a machine. Over the years, I have slowly learned to rely on TCM, sporadic exercises, alternative holistic treatments, diet on top of modern medicine - but the sustenance of a body that is of the right balance remains a challenge.
Have I try too hard too much?
Or like WY said, I actually don't take care of myself well enough?
It has been a long and arduous journey - literally draining and sometimes.... disheartening to the point of wishing that all of these can end.. and I mean end literally...And perhaps I can find some peace...
Sigh.. I need some time to rest a little and rethink.... I really need to relearn to see and understand illness as a reflection of the total body and mind system and seek to balance it through a fundamental re-orientation of my life-style and outlook. Afterall, Buddha had mentioned about the inseparability of the physical aspects of life from the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects.
But how?
Having hope, courage, focus, strong sense of purpose in life - compassion, loving kindness, generousity, wisdom and all positive traits help?? And I know.. these have to be practiced with continued due diligence.
The more demanding the goals, the more expansive a state of enriched life I can learn to appreciate right? No? After all, these should help me to eventually nurture some level of unassailable inner strength. And physical health alone is really not the determining factor for personal happiness. Rather, the challenge of relooking and managing illness should be seen as a self practice to encourage and inspire hope in me? and maybe in.... others as well because by doing so, it may perhaps help provide some form of relief with understanding to others?
Buddha said that death is as much a part of human life as illness and aging and it provides an opportunity for others to contemplate and practice.
Hmm... new philosophy or attitude for me - modern and complementary medicine plus practice of mind and good...... are mutually compatible and complementary....
Let me think again... and rethink....
