A Brand New Year

Very soon, we will face a brand new year.

Time moves the way it used to move, not much faster nor slower. But the mindset has changed - affecting how one views time and the value it presents. Does one relish every single moment with zest or wasting it away like water dripping non stop from a tap?

This year has been exceptionally fast. I have sunk myself deep and hard into work after mum's passing without giving thought to a lot of things that matter.

Physically and mentally, I suffered because of the relentless push I have subjected myself to...

I miss her dearly and I believe I will continue to be so. I love her so much and again, I will remain very much so.

This will not change.

My life needs to change. My perspective and focus needs to change.

A brand new year.

A brand new me with renewed energy and positivity.

A different X'mas

We celebrated X'mas a little differently yesterday.

We hauled the whole family including the little brood of children to East Coast Lagoon for a solid 2-3 hour session of wakeboarding. They were clueless on this sport and WY plus the on site staff gave them proper guidance.

It was hilarious and fun to see all of them trying out the new stint. No smooth ride at the start but with practice, they grew to enjoy it. Their hearty laughter and constant cajoling of one another to try another round was a heart-warming sight. WY plans to make this a regular event at the wakeboard venue and he specifically mentions that we must include our dear friend's son R next time round. Yes, definitely we must rope them in at the next outing. Soon.

At one point as I gazed at my family, mum came into mind and I somewhat felt comforted that we stayed connected and more loving than before. I am sure mum is smiling with love from where she is.

The session ended with a seafood dinner at Jumbo. All 16 of us at one table sharing and eating our hearts out. No less.

Parents and Children

I had lunch with a friend KYK on Friday. He seems to have aged a little since we last met.

He spoke about his kids naturally. I remembered his kids to be cheery, obedient and bright. It is a little disconerting that they have turn up to be otherwise, especially the boy.

The sad part is, my friend had slapped his son in a recent confrontation. This incident brought back the recent memory of my dear girl friend LKL- who also shared with me about her increasing tension with her teenaged son and similarly, she had slapped and pinched her son in her fit of disappointment and anger.

Back home, my nieces and nephews remain a constant challenge to my siblings as well.

It is always said that children are angels given to one from God or they are bundles/miracles of joy for parents.

But are they really? Everyone says 养儿一百岁，常忧九十九。。

Whether children are blessings depend on tons of factors - karma, parents' maturity and outlook in bringing up the children, environment, peer influences, school influences, internet influences and the list goes on.

Parents, good or bad, believe in giving their children the best possible love, guidance and environment. This is generally true though the application of such love and guidance may not be communicated in a way that is receptive to the children.

And there is always this gap where the children are often not appreciative, self-centred and think the worst of their parents.

Such gaps can result in a host of unhappy relationships as children grow..

The issues are much more diversified for sure but I have no insights. But the reality of increasing deterioration of human relationships, starting from home, is saddening indeed....

A Day To Give Thanks

It's a special day today
Mum gave life to me
This is a great blessing

She is no longer here on this earth physically
But she has left me a legacy of love, devotion, and good values to last me a lifetime and beyond
This is a blessing

My family of sister and brothers,
Who stay close knitted despite all the ups and down
Always reaching out for each other when needed
This is a blessing

My husband WY
Who loves and cares for my physical, mental and emotional well-being
All the time
This is a blessing

I have friends, not many, but great ones
Who care and love me for what and who I am.
This is a blessing.

I have Dhamma teachers, brothers and sisters
Who practice and show the Path
This us a blessing

To be able to access, learn and practise the Triple Gem
This time
This is a blessing

I have much to be thankful for
This is the day to thank mum and all
For being in my life
In positive and nurturing way

I can only live life to the best of my knowledge
With compassion and wisely
So as to repay all the love and kindness
Especially from my mum and loved ones

Thank you once again
I love you all

Kranji Countryside

WY wants me to relax in a natural environment, thus a night's stay at the Kranji Countryside Resort.

The ride on 12 Dec was fraught with uncertainty because we had never been there. True enough, we ended in Jurong instead of Kranji! Luckily, WY was able to find his way back without arduous effort.

Surprisingly, we noticed quite a fair bit of cars visiting this place as we rode in to check in. The check in was quite speedy and interestingly, it was done at the gate entrance itself.

There are not many units within the compound. They are compact, clean and equip with a queen sized bed, TV and basic utility.

There are quite a fair bit of places to visit during the stay - vegetable farm, aquarium, goat farm, ornamental fish farm, aeroponic farm, and more. I must say it was quite an interesting and eye-opening experience for a city dweller like me.

The food at the seafood restaurant is mediocre though.

Weekend getaway is just about right to visit this place.

I Still Miss You...

Everyday, life moves on.
Every moment, I move on.
Yet every other moment, I think of you.

I miss you.
Your smile.
Your laughter.
Your twinkling eyes.
Your button nose.
Your flowing hair.
Your voice.
Your care.
Your touch.
Your love.
And every single tiny bit about YOU.

I smile when I think of you.
I tear when I think of you.
I ache when I think of you.
I sigh with love when I think of you.

I miss you..
I still do.
All the time....

ANOMA

Since the day I became inquisitive (likely when I first took the baby step to walk and explore), I had seen my parents especially mum living a life of a pious Buddhist.

My dad, in his ignorant ways, had a messed up views and ways on religion - bordering on Taoism, Buddhism mixed with Chinese customs. Warped as it may sound, his cavalier ways had resulted in mum suffering in many manners.

Mum remained unwavered throughout. Her focused faith, simple yet profound understandings of the suttas and teachings of Buddha & Triple Gem had served her and family well.

When we carefully put her remains in the little urn, we noticed that her everything is clean and of pure white. It was also then we noticed that there are sariras - all in beautiful pink to amber red. Sariras are said to be remains of highly evolved individuals and they are physical proof that the individual has attained a level of spiritual understanding. The auras of these relics are believed to be protective and radiates loving kindness.

Through my parents, we came into contact with religion. I even sporadically ventured beyond the little circle to find out more about others such as Christianity, Islam.

Come to think of it, I have been in search for some spiritual understanding for the longest period of time. Perhaps timing, readiness, openness, right people matter.

Both sister and I only came in touch with Teravada Buddhism in recent 6 years and the concepts provided new insights that are relevant and meaningful.

I for one, am in search for a teacher-someone who can guide and provide explanations to the Dharma.

Bhante Indasara is a great and compassionate teacher with a wealth of knowledge. He resides in Sri Lanka and heads the University.

Bhante Mahinda is a much learned teacher and he too resides in SL.

Other Venerables come and go.

Ah.... Does one receive when one seek?

Time will tell.

And Bhante Indasara. I am grateful for him. He has been around giving me the guidance, advice and comfort. Still does despite the physical distance.

And he has chosen with care, a good and meaningful Buddhist name that relates to me as a person....

ANOMA...

The beautiful meaning of which shall reside deep and with care within my heart..

Thanks Bhante...