The Lotus

While strolling at the Botanic Garden this morning, both WY and I chanced upon s quaint little pond, modern in its design but simple, where beautiful flowers of the Lotus stood elegantly yet serenely above the water surface.

With the understanding that the Lotus opens in the morning and closes or petals fall in the afternoon, I was really thrilled to see both the pure white and vibrant magenta pink flowers in their full glorious bloom simultaneously.

Well, from what I know, the Lotus is one of the most significant and beautiful symbols in Buddhism. In many instances, you would notice the Bodhisattvas or deities sitting or standing on a Lotus.

The Lotus signifies purity of mind and enlightenment - the pristine flower growing from its roots within the mud and sits above the waters - showing its freedom from the worldly attachments and desires, thus achieving enlightenment.

As the petals open and bask in the positive energy of the sun, it really shows me yet again, the similar journey of a sentient being and the beautiful result of an aspiration to rise above this samsara to gain enlightenment.

While the white Lotus translates to a similar state of complete mental purity and spiritual perfection, the pink is associated with supremity and the Buddha.

Truly... I am thankful that I got to see both at the same time.. And what a timely reminder of what matters and where my focus should be..

Is A Home Haven?

This morning while having breakfast with WY at Bedok market, a boy strutted towards us with a stack of publications. He claimed to be helping out family by selling papers at a dollar per piece. While I was quite impressed by his readiness to help his mum, his defensive, impatient tone and hard figure took me by surprise. And he is a mere 10 year old boy.

Probably poverty or lack of security made his mum decided that this was the best option. But his total lack of childlike innocence and ready smiles plus his stoic stance seemed to indicate a home where bonding, love and guidance within a family is a rarity.

Isn't it natural for all to assume and take for granted that a home is a safe, nurturing haven?

But I guess sociodemographic background variables such as gender, occupation of the parents, living arrangements, home intactness of his family, family income, family size, age and the marital relationship between the parents are in one way or another intertwined to impact the children's behaviour, growth and outlook.

We have seen in papers the increased concerns by the authorities such as the police and the general public on the increasing seriousness of adolescent crime and conduct problems. While there is greater emphasis on educating the young to prevent them from going astray, but it takes so much more between the family and educators to cover the grounds to help groom an upright person with good values and attributes.

Unfortunately, you and I see this ideal falling short of expectations - because the elements at play including the parents are really in a less than ideal state themselves.

Lets make it simple, take a step back and simply look inward within the nuclesus family for a start - the way parents indulge children to instill and fuel that sense of instantaneous gratification... the kind of bonding parents have with their children... the values shared...

Wouldn't our behaviour patterns and thoughts, good or bad, have been appeared to be developed and maintained within the family environment as early as our todlers stage? And for sure, these are likely to remain stable and become strong predictor of social behaviour in our growing up years as teenagers and into adulthood?

The is a complex thing. Many a times my siblings play up my ignorance simply because I am childless. But seriously, does one need to have a child to look at such things? Cant we use an objective mind, our available life knowledge and expertise to rationalise the situation appropriately for some form of viable resolution?

If one follows one style of nurturing a family and it has failed to live up to expectation, does it make sense to revisit, rethink and rework on alternatives?

It is human element that we are talking about not machines or processes. Does this make it even more important to be open, flexible yet encompassing?

I can only say that positive and strong parental support is likely to nurture positively strong relationships between parents and children. Inconsistent parental discipline such as disparate practices over time, failure to monitor, the use of erratic punishment and reward as well as different styles between both parents may likely suggest a result of conduct problems.

Now how do I really know this since I am childless? And why not seriously? My family has this issue to start with. And not just one but but more than two cases.

I rest my case.

Thoughts on Friendships..

People come into our lives for a reason. It can be for a while or for a lifetime.

But once in a while, I still wonder where my friends are and what has happened to them and our friendship.

When I was younger (much much younger I must add), I thought all my friends back then could still be my friends until the day I die. I felt happy with so many friends and the energy was vibrant. Now that I am older, I can count my true friends in my fingers.

Would you judge me that I am not a friend keeper, or would you agree with me that as time passes, we're no longer concerned with the number of friends that we have, but really, the quality of friendship that we build. Distance and time are really, not hindrances to a friendship if we cherish one another.

For friends who have come into my life very briefly- yet supported me in one way or another, and ended the realtionship without any wrongdoing on either person's part, I thank you and I have moved on.

For friends who have come into my life for a longer period of time - shared, grew and learned some great experiences and joy together with me, I thank you and I have moved on too.

For friends who have stayed and built strong emotional foundation with me, I thank you for all of the rain and shine, joys and sadness, sharing and support, love, growth and lessons.

For these friends,
who are caring, loyal and most true,
and accept my best and worst qualities,
I wish for you to know,
I am also your friend,
I love and cherish you,
And wish the same caring, loyalty and most true to you too..

13 May 2010... A Year On..

On this calendar date at 10.10 am a year ago, mummy left me.

The love that fills the aching heart is boundless.

I long to see her once again,
Touch her once again,
Hug her once again,
Kiss her once again,
Talk to her once again,
Laugh with her once again,
And hear her calling me Ah Nee Ah once again...

I am heart broken because her body is no longer on this earth,
And this is simply a daughter's longing for mum.

But I know and am glad that she is somewhere well and happy.
It is a new Her with a new life force..
Pursuing a Path that is meaningful..

And I also know
Her Love will always be here for me

All I need to be mindful of
Is to take a peek into my heart
As I move along life
To reach out to Her
And Her love will simly fill me all over again

Mummy,
I love you so..
And do not worry about me
I will take care and be good
Live a life that is of value
And I know... You will wait for me somewhere,
In time to come
We will meet.
Again.

Goodbyes.....

Goodbyes are easy when you assume that you are going to see that person again. And again.

And such goodbyes are normally joyous or at least, easy.

Saying goodbye to a departing or departed friend or dear one is tough.

Sometimes shocking even.

My ex-colleague from Kelly just passed away. Suddenly. Without reason. And in his prime.

How does one make sense of this?

This is the reality of life.

Impermanence.

It happens all the time - this moment, to anyone, to any being, to any living being.

Lets not wait for another incident to wake up.

Stay mindful and practice.

Time waits no one.

Really...

Dear friend, 一路好走...