宝妈。。

I remember you....

Holding my hands... Patting my head.. Always dishing out kind words..

I remember you...

Sharing those Hainanese traditional sweets prepared painstakingly by your very own hands..

I remember you...

Lending a helping hand to mum without being asked..

I remember you..

Always positive with loving smiles..

Now seeing you helpless in bed...sickly and degenerating by the day...

Aches my heart endlessly..

Holding you reminds me of my love for mum and you...

May the blessings of Triple Gem be showered upon you for a smooth painless journey towards the heavenly realm....

美好的经献给妈妈。。

亲爱的妈妈，谢谢您给了我生命，

从您的怀抱一路走来，
感受的是浓浓的牵挂， 也是 一种一生一世不求回报的恩情与爱，

今天,女儿不知道用什么语言表达谢意，

唯能献上这首心经，愿您在净土永不退转，菩薩果位不断增上，直到圓满成佛。

YOU BLESSED ME WITH THIS LIFE

I stand here looking at you
No one will ever know, what it meant to lose you
I put my hands around you and I pray
Thank you so much for giving me life, love, sunshine
and teaching me how to be true
I've learned everything worth knowing from you
and I'll never forget all the things and knowledge you taught
about family, love, truth, righteousness, generosity, compassion and wisdom

It may have been so long ago
when you brought me into this world
The youngest of five, the baby
the one whom you thought you were too old to raise
But raised well nonetheless b’cos of your faith and love
She now stands here today, with her heart full of love, praise and pride
and will always has a special place for you in her heart

Mum... thank you again for the life that you lived
There is no one in this world as special an angel as you
I will carry on and do the things I am meant to do
Till the day comes when I'll see you again

And on my birthday, I pray that
You will continue to follow the wise, the intelligent and the awakened and live by the Truth to be free from fear and suffering... and
You will achieve the final sweetness of stillness, peace and calmness as you move onward, never looking back..

Takachiho Gorge( 高千穂峡), Mt Aso & Kuju Flower Park

With knowledge that Takachiho Gorge (Takachiho-kyo) is a natural wonder, hubby decided at the last minute to visit this place before heading out to Mount Aso.

The weather remained hot as we drove towards our destination. As we neared Takachiho, we noticed quite a number of tour buses and private cars stopping at a small area where a couple of simple shops offering souvenirs and beverages were housed. It seemed that Takachiho drew tons of Japanese tourists but few foreigners. This was apparent since we were the only two foreigners amongst the sea of locals.

We decided to park alongside with the tour buses and walked downhill towards the gorge. The path was narrow and trailed along the edge of the gorge. Sheer grey cliffs with dense green foliage in some areas greeted us as we slowly paved our way along the path.

Partway along the gorge was the 17 meter high Minainotaki waterfall cascading downwards to the river below the gorge. The flowing water cooled the surroundings and provided a magnificent view that caught our breath away. Right below the waterfall, we were pleasantly surprised to see people rowing tiny boats near the waterfall. Apparently, the ride was a very pleasant one and provided one with a chance to view the grandeur of the waterfall from another perspective.

The gorge has a 600-meter long walking trail of which was decorated with varying flowers, maple trees etc. It would have been quite a sight to behold during the deeper autumn but we were equally enthralled by the nature's beauty throughout the walk.

As time was running short, we had to bid Takachiho farewell and quickly detoured to Takachiho Shrine. This was the first time I have ever stepped into a Japanese Shrine. As I walked up the stone stairs and heading towards the shrine, what strike me was the simple and e unpainted buildings that seemed to blend in naturally with the surrounding trees. And any natural light that filtered through the trees brought with it an air of calm and peaceful reverence. Both WY and I respectfully paid our respect prior to making our way to Mount Aso.

The drive was long and winding, slowly lurely me to slumberland... It wasn't until WY reached the top of Mt Aso that I became fully awake. *shy*

WY took a few quick shots before heading downwards again so that we could reach the farm in time for check in. It took us a while to find our way because the parking area for the farm stay was in reality two separate areas. We had to park our car, unload the stuff and literally carried the luggage through a trail of about 10-15 minutes walk prior to reaching the hotel.

The accommodation was uniquely designed in half-moon shaped, built in varying stone shapes and provided a clean and comfortable environment. It was almost like the fairy tales where little gnomes stayed in a community of stoned houses along the mountain slopes.

The night was cool and certainly a welcoming change to the perpetual hot weather. We had a simple dinner, rested and headed to try out the suana facilities. The offering was amazing with about 10-12 different kinds of saunas to cater for one's needs - medicinal or herbal types, different stones from amethyts to jade and even elements such as gold. I could not take the dry heat and was out within 10 minutes. Hubby was sturdy and literally went from one into another including the ice cold sauna for a try.

It certainly was a different experience and with this, we slept like babies till dawn. The morning saw us taking a dip into the hot bath prior to checking out.

The Aso Farmland essentially featured different products using the natural ingredients or produce from its farm such as milk, vegetables and fruits.

We did not linger too long at the farm and headed to Mt Aso. This is the largest active volcano in Japan and is among the largest in the world. Aso has one of the largestcaldera in the world (25 km north-south and 18 km east-west). The caldera has a circumference of around 120 km (75 mi), although sources vary on the exact distance.

Although the sulphur smell was quite difficult to bear, I remained excited as I walked towards the steaming crater. The peripheral of the crater saw only lava rocks without any greenery. The crater was 600 meters wide and 130 meters deep. The temperature of lava inside the crater was 1,000 to 1,200 degrees Celsius. The emerald green volcanic lake was quite a sight to behold and I was amazed that I actually thought that the lake looked like an inviting bath tub to all for an enjoyable soak.

There were quite a few shelters being built around the mountain area for emergency use, that is, in the event of an explosion or sudden spews of volcanic ashes visitors could take shelter in these stone huts. The active volcano, rugged landscape provided a different kind of world altogether and once again, I was in awe of the nature's beauty and power.

Having spent more time than expected on top of Mt Aso, we had to start heading out to another place - Kuju Flower Park.

I was suffering from massive headache because of the heat but when I saw the flowers at Kuju Flower Park, all the lethargy and pain melted away naturally. This park features all the four seasons of flowers throughout the year and regardless of when is your visit, you are greeted by the beauty of the seasonal floral arrangements. The 200,000m² park area was simply covered in a bed of vibrantly coloured flowers with the Aso Kuju Mountains as the backdrop. And for the first time, we got to see in person the blossoming sunflowers as well! And housed amongst the vivid colours of the flowers, we found facilities such as the aromatherapy, dried flowers and ice-cream shop and restaurants, as well as the souvenir shops. We enjoyed ourselves tremendously and this was certainly a very charming flower park to visit before we head off to our next destination - Kurokawa Ryokan.

A Day of Exploration & Experiencing....

It was a glorious morning when we set off from the hotel the next day. We planned to visit a number of places and certainly had to start early.

Ibushuki City - Lake Ikeda

Ibusuki city was located at the southern most tip of Satsuma peninsula and at the entrance of Kagoshima bay. It was known for its range of flowers and greenery. We were hopeful to catch the beauty of the flower bed that resided along the shoreline of Lake Ikeda (the biggest lake in Kyushu), which was smacked right in the center of Ibusuki City. Together with Mt. Kaimon on its south side, it was known to be one of the most scenic spots of tourist zone.

After 1.5 hours drive, we finally arrived at the lake. A quick glance at the surrounding proved to be disappointing with no specific scenic feature to shout about. There wasnt any sign of beautiful flowers. Guess the timing was just not right. Since the lake was also famous for its giant eels, we made our way to the little museum and souvenir shop located near the lake. Didn't think much about the eels as I had to squint my eyes to search for them, who remained tired and motionless within the tanks that were covered by a layer of moss..

Without further delay, we decided to save our precious time and started heading out to Tosenkyo for the much awaited lunch of somen!

Tosenkyo （唐船峡）

Tosenkyo was really a a gorge situated at south west of the Lake Ikeda. It derived this name from a place called Tōsengasaka - where there were many Chinese ships anchored at a deep cove during the Edo Period from 1603-1868.

Tosenkyo was famous for its Nagashi Somen (flowing somen) during the summer. Previously, the somen would be placed in the bamboo of ice cold water and diners could pick the somen with their chopsticks and dipped them in tsuyu before eating. In 1962, people tried to find ways of tapping the clear stream in Tosenkyo and Inoue Hironori invented a round rotational style motorized machine to swirl the somen in ice cold water. This innovation was later put to massive implementation to help developed the town as the birthplace of the flowing noodles.

For the record, I have not really tried somen before and being the blurred person I am, I have always thought that somen was soba, the kind of noodles that I never really enjoyed. Naturally I was not as excited as WY when he first mentioned about the somen from Tosenkyo and the fact that it was the best in Japan.

Upon arrival, I was taken aback by the quiet beauty of the place - almost like the utopian rural village depicted by Akira Kurosawa's Dreams - a clear water stream flowing from the ravine that cooled the surrounding, a pond where the healthy and lively carps and sturgeons could be seen being reared naturally, a simple wooden watermill, a bridge and a colourful shrine that were built against the lush greenery to depict simplicity and tranquility.

Instantly, my fatigue from the drive and overbearing heat was gone and I was overcomed with the sheer joy and peace of the environement.

Our lunch was quite a unique experience. The set was completed with somen, grilled fish, sturgeon sashimi, miso soup with carp, teriyaki chicken and sushi. I was totally bowled over by the somen! The refreshing underground water sufficiently cooled the noodles very quickly before dipping into the freshly made tsuyu. Each mouthful of the noodles filled the palate with a light fragrance and each bite was deliciously exquisite! I never knew a simple dish as this could be so good!

The grilled fish was a delight and miso soup was flavourful with the sweetness of the carp. WY found the sashimi a little too crunchy for his liking though admittedly it was also very fresh.

Overall, I would give this lunch a superstar grade and I am already drooling again while penning this.....

Nagasaki Bana - 长崎鼻

After lunch, we headed for Nagasakibana - it was a cape at the southernmost end of the Satsuma Peninsula in the southern part of Kagoshima Prefecture. A white lighthouse was located at the tip of this cape while the other mountain Mt Kaimon stood on its western side.

Since it was a sunny day, we could enjoy seeing a clear picture of both the lighthouse and the panoramic view of Mt kaimon from afar. Equal interesting was the zoo/botanical garden nearby which we managed to explore a fair bit as well, capturing picturing of some of the interesting animals along the way.

Yamagawa Hot Sand Bath

Following the trekking at Nagasakibana, I was skeptical if I could take a hot sand bath considering I had been perspiring like mad. But it would be unthinkable to give it a miss since we were already nearby so off we went in search of the place.

The GPS played tricks on us and we were led on a wild goose chase trying to find the right venue. Finally, we managed to ask a a kind local (working at a nearby hot spring onsen :-p) who directed us to the right place.

The yutaka and a piece of tower were provided at an additional cost. We stripped everything off, wrapped ourselves in the yukuta before heading to the beach. The staff was very helpful and wrapped the towel around our head like a scarf before directing us to lie down. The hot volcanic sand was then piled on top of us bit by bit except for our head. Initially there was a little discomfort because of the weight and heat but slowly, I began to perspire and felt a slight pulsation that started from the base of my leg and slowly spread across the rest of my body.

It was really quite an enjoyable experience especially after we moved ourselves out of the sand bath after 15 minutes. The breeze from the sea was a welcoming relief and instantly I felt great, seemingly the impurities and toxin had been removed from my body!

After lingering for a short while at the beach enjoying the beautiful sea view, we went back to the bath and cleansed ourselves with the hot spring water. Finally, I took a quick dip into the onsen to end off the whole process. It was a great feeling after this as we both felt energised as we drove back to Kagoshima.

Dinner at Kagoshima

Dinner was quite good with WY finally got to eat his hotstone grill of the kurobuta and Kuroge Wagyu. I had a mixed hotpot with lots of local greens, scallops and kurobuta.

It was a hearty and satisfying meal after a long day of drive and exploration. With that, we were both dead beat and headed straight back to hotel for a good night's rest.

Sengan-en Garden in Kagoshima

Indeed, gardens, nature and flowers have always been a big part of my interest but little did I realise that Senganen garden was one of great historical value. It was actually built in 1658 by a weathy and one of the most powerful feudal clans during the Edo period. They ruled the Satsuma domain (present day Kagoshima) for almost 700 years until the end of the feudal age in 1868 and continued to be influential into the modern era as some of the earliest adopters of Western science and technology. And its name was given after Xian Yan in China ((仙巌园 is pronounced "Sengan" in Japanese).

Senganen was a Japanese style landscape garden beautifully located at the foot of a wooded hill along the coast near Kagoshima. It featured some beautiful former residential buildings, small ponds, streams, shrines and bamboo grove. Visiting the interior of the residence required a paid tour that included tea and a snack at the end though. It was a well-kept site and from the gardens, we could even see very clearly, Sakurajima out in the bay.

We took our time strolling leisurely along the garden path and streams... taking in the harmonised elegance of the garden elements - trees, carefully trimmed plants, lawn, flagstones, leaves, flower petals, bridges, shrines and all. There seemed to be a seamless combination of architecture, plant and stone arrangements that subtly reflect a respect for nature and some philosophical representations of Zen. One could easily forget the passage of time by basking in the simplicity and tranquility of the garden's beauty.

However, the appreciation was marred slightly by the rain of ashes from Sakurajima - which resulted in a thin layer of grey colour downcast being formed everywhere we moved. Finally, tired from the walk, we took a small break at a stall within the garden with 两棒饼 and green tea. It was a local specialty where the mochi was grilled prior to being drizzled with either miso or shoyu sauce. I totally abhorred the taste of it but WY actually liked the miso version. For once, both WY and my palate didnt agree! I stuck to my decision and would not advise anyone to even giving it a try. :-p

We did not have much time left for the visit to the museum in view of the closing time. We could not understand a word since everything was in Japanese but at least, I could see the vast efforts and heart put into the works of display and description.

Physically drained and hungry, we headed back to the city area to look for food. The malls at Tenmokan were large with many retail outlets. They looked attractive but we were too tired to explore and ended up resting at a seat looking at the people passing by.

Eventually, the hunger pangs proved too much to bear and we dragged our heavy feet to explore further. We were pleasantly surprised to find an abundant offering of Kagoshima specialties. We chanced upon a shop selling Satsuma Age ( Oden) and another selling hotpot and grilled black pork/black beef. WY certainly wanted to try the grilled offerings but being a sweet soul, he chose the Satsuma Age knowing I was yearning for something piping hot and simple.

The small restaurant was simply furnished with a cosy wooden theme and filled with locals. We tried ordering via the Japanese menu but gave up thereafter. The service staff was patient and friendly, allowing us to place our order direct from where they were cooking the age. We tried to order grilled Kurabuta and a Kurabuta salad arrived instead. We didnt mind a bit since the salad and the grilled Kurabuta ( tasted almost like crispy and gragrant bacon)went down very well with the age. Satsuma age, as all may well be aware, is a fried fish cake made from fish past, salt, sugar, and other spices and molded into several shapes. The locals ate it plain or lightly roasted and dipped in ginger and soy sauce or mustard and soy sauce. It tasted delicious in oden, udon or Nimono (stewed dishes). Our selection was varied and it certainly turned out to be a rejuvenating and satisfying dinner.

Knowing that I was yearning for something to complete this nice hearty dinner, WY quickly bought a piece of a freshly baked sweet flour pancake Imagawayaki as dessert. It was warm and moist and each bite was filled with nicely ground sweet red bean paste. Needless to say it was heavenly and I was a totally happy person thereafter............ :-D

Sakurajima - The Symbol of Kagoshima

Sakurajima.. is the first ever active volcano that I have personally come across. One the first evening of arrival, I could not help staring at the smoking Sakurajima from my balcony in wonder - What kind of place is this? And what does it speak of the people who have overcome the risks of staying at the foot of an active volcano and build a home around it?

My background knowledge is limited - with basic understanding that it is probably the most active and dangerous volcano in Japan with repeated eruptions throughout its history. Sakurajima actually floats on the Kagoshima Bay in the southern part of Kyushu. It is a symbol of Kagoshima, located at sea about four kilometers from the center of Kagoshima city. Though it was originally an isolated island, the lava that flowed from the big eruption of 1914 joined it to the adjacent Osumi peninsula.

Coincidentally, we chanced upon a short TV documentary ( in Japanese but we sort of gathered some ideas by feasting on the captivating visuals) on Sakurajima. It showed how these simple and happy people appreciated the fertile soil and worked on making a living from planting crops and vegetables. Specifically, it is well known for the Sakurajima Radish – the largest variety in the world, and the Sakurajima Mandarin Orange – the smallest variety in the world. Some pictures that managed to capture Sakurajima in its full elemental splendour were also featured and they simply left us short of words and in awe of the power of nature.

The next morning, with much curiosity and excitement, we embarked on a visit to the island. We were trying to locate the public carpark before getting onto the ferry but unknowingly, we actually drove the car right onto the base of the ferry itself! So off the little car traveled across the sea with us to Sakurajima! The ferry operated efficiently ( probably the best I have seen so far) - from loading and unloading of cars to having us settling down in comfort ( and if we wish, we could even enjoy some good selection of snacks, drinks and piping hot udon)in a spiff.

Sakurajima on this particular day chose to be active, throwing large amounts of ash to heights oa up to a few kilometers above the mountain and dropping them not just on the surrounding but also across the ocean to the city of Kagoshima. WY had to give up taking pictures on deck as the ash was hitting hard at him full on. Wtih ashfall happening so often, it was quite a sight to behold with so many interestingly designed brolly being used by the locals for shielding from the ash.

The Sakurajima Visitor Center housed a museum that showcased a detailed history of the eruptions of Sakurajima and its relationship with the local people. Located within walking distance from the visitor centre was the seabed where one could observe the reefs and the vast lava field - one that was full of amazing metallic colour and character. A suitably built foot bath area has been installed nearby for the weary locals or travellers to enjoy a simple and free foot soak in the natural hot spring water while enjoying the panoramic view of the seabed and its ocean.

There were a few obervation spots such as the Yunohira Observation Spot at 373m above sea level and nearest to the active Minamidake crater for a great view of the island or the Arimura Lava Observation spot for a dynamic lookout of the lava but we did not manage to hit any of these. It was heartening to learn from WY though, that massive efforts have been put in place to help direct future lave flows away from the civilisation and into the sea.

Furusato Onsen - A real highlight of Sakurajima visit.

Housed at the Kurusato Kanko Hotel, Furusato Onsen was an open air hot spring bath set amid lava rocks right beside the sea. It was also the only onsen that I have come across that provided a white garment ( Yukata ) for both men and women to enjoy the hot spring.

The water was crystal clear with a pretty good temperature that was heated up naturally by the thermal spring beneath the volcano. A carved shrine (龙神观音) was well seated beneath a huge 200 year old tree that literally grew from the base of the lava rocks. The onsen provided a spectacular view of the Kagoshima Bay. It was very relaxing and refreshing to be soaking under the tree and overlooking the bay. Definitely one of the best experiences I've ever had.

After the dip, we had lunch at the restaurant housed within hotel. THAT was our first and best lunch. Each item was exquisitely prepared, from sashimi to kurobuta pork, tempura, vegetables, chawanmushi and dessert...

The sashimi was very fresh and sweet tasting, the pork was tenderly braised and it melted the moment you ate it in your mouth.. exploding with the rich and full of depth gravy, and the radish simply tasted heavenly.

With a very gratifying lunch enjoyed, we headed back to Kagoshima. I have not learned much about the locals but I do admire these people for their strength, persistence and tenacity in working around the conditions and available resources to make this place a home - not just for themselves but for the future generations as well.

Arrival and Day 1- Kumamoto Castle & Kagoshima

Ours was an early flight via SQ to Fukuoka (福岡市), which is the capital city of Fukuoka Prefecture and is situated on the northern shore of the island of Kyushu in Japan. Voted number 14 in 2010's poll of the World's Most Livable Cities, Fukuoka is praised for its green spaces in a metropolitan setting.

Upon reaching the International airport, we had to hop onto the bus transport that ply between the International and Domestic airport, which took about 10 minutes ride. First impression of the Japanese was their ease in giving way to others and the driver's calm and friendly repetition of urging everyone to be careful, thanking passengers for taking his service etc.

Our budget car rental office was housed just outside the domestic airport. The staff was friendly and helpful though our communication was a little challenged and we managed to get our little rented car quite speedily . Most of cars in Kyushu seem to be small in size and honestly it was the first time we got such a small car to drive around. I wondered if it could serve us well.. In any case, we did not spare any time resting and headed direct to the Kumamoto Castle.

Kumamoto Castle (熊本城 Kumamoto-jō) is a hilltop Japanese castle located in Kumamoto in Kumamoto Prefecture. It was a large and extremely well fortified castle built during the old Edo period, which was about 400 years ago but it suffered severe damage in the civil war. Only a few of the current smaller buildings are original. The main castle building and some of the towers were such as the castle keep (天守閣 tenshukaku) were reconstructed in 1960 but several ancillary wooden buildings remain intact of the original castle. Kumamoto Castle is considered one of the three premier castles in Japan, along with Himeji Castle and Matsumoto Castle.

This was certainly a popular tourist attraction as this became the only place where we got to meet tourists from Malaysia, Taiwan and China. Groups thronged the place with enthusiasm but the weather did not help. I was quite surprised at the unusually hot weather (considering it was now autumn) and unfortunately this hot and dry temperature followed us throughout the entire trip.

It was not a very pleasant experience to have to climb up the stairs (5 storeys in total) in this weather with minimal cooling ventilation. Each level showcased a different array of images of fearless warriors and exhibits of scrolls, samurai weapons and armours etc. The top floor however, commanded quite an excellent view of the city.

After the visit, we drove around the town to look for a suitable place for lunch. We did not manage to try the specialty - cheese cake because for some unknown reason, the GPS just could not help us locate that specific cafe for us. We ended up at a small local eatery for bowl of fried rice and a bowl of “太平燕”. Turned out to be quite satisfactory and the noodles was surprisingly Chinese style with clear chicken broth, loads of cabbage, bean sprouts, carrots and some slices of meat.

As we were running short of time, we did not explore the open mall any further but to start heading out to Kagoshima.

The ride was quite smooth and slowly we got used to the works of the GPS. By the time we reached and checked into the hotel, it was already late evening. We were certainly beat but the majestic view from our room window on Sakurajima and the sea was both calming and perplexing. Sakurajima, remains an active volcano and the ash that it spews can be quite frequent and at an alarming volume.

The evening ended with dinner at a chosen local eatery but this time, it turned out mediocre. Nonetheless, we looked forward to our further exploration the next couple of days.

Our Fourth Anniversary (Part 1)

As early as June, WY was already planning to have a trip to Japan for our 4th wedding anniversary. He spared no efforts when it involved a trip for the both of us.. and it certainly turned out to be one memorable one that is filled with exhilarating and insightful experiences covering from the wondrous nature to the best possible dining from fine cuisine to street food and finally the Japanese culture.

While I will slowly regale the thoughts and experiences in subsequent sharing, I must say that WY has opened up new ways for me to experience a holiday. I am one who do not like to follow tour but neither am I equipped with the skill sets and knowledge to plan a self-drive travelling. WY took care of everything from researching, planning, bookings to driving and chatting with the locals...

Over the years, he has shown me how to embrace the unknown with a little more positivity and confidence and today I am still learning. This trip has proven to me once again, the value of keeping an open and inquisitive mind to understand, experience and absorb. Certainly not everything went smoothly as planned and communication remained a challenge but seeing him handling and overcoming these gave me great comfort and good learning platform to improve myself.

Since the day I knew him till today's 4th anniversary, my husband has never failed in loving me, taking good care of me and communicating with me in a way that touches both my emotive and intellectual needs.

I am blessed. I cherish and love WY dearly. I hope that in his heart, I have also been a loving and supportive wife who has given him that joy, love and peace.

I look forward to continuing nurturing this relationship with tender loving care... and growing old with him into the twilight years... hand in hand...

给自己的生活—幸福之章。。

经历多了，
开始懂了
活着本身就是一场
需要为了生命而不断的学习，成长，奋斗过程。
只要还有呼吸，
就不会停止.

今年，好多人突然离世。。 他们的离去让我看见了白发人送黑发人的辛酸，看见失去爱人不舍的眼泪，也看见了孩子那无助的眼神。。

可曾想到我们活着就是一种快乐，一种幸福。。但往往人啊。。都不安于现状，不断地去追求更大的幸福。 这也有了人类的发展与进步。 也因为幸福本身是一个充满诱惑的字眼，于是人总是抱怨生活中太多的不如意-老板，男人，女人，工资，孩子，工作，朋友，社会。。。。而抱怨也渐渐的成了人的一种常态 - 这非但解决不了问题，还让负面的情绪不断地在内心深化，也使我们变成一个不开心也不幸福的人。

生命自它诞生的刹那，就在与死亡做一场搏斗。生与死，只是一线之隔。很多时候，对于那些已经逝去的人，我们除了回忆他们的好以外，更多地只会叹息，他要是还活着就好了。

与其如此回忆与抱怨，到不如好好的生活。其实心态如能时刻保持宽容、感恩、乐观和自信， 很多人与事是能在一个深刻而不浮躁，谦和而不抱怨的情况下平和的解决。

因为活着，我们可以感受着亲情、友情、爱情。

因为活着，我们可以做自己喜欢的事，爱着自己喜欢的人。

因为活着，我们可以为了自已的人生目标去奋斗，并在其间品尝着成功的喜悦。

就算是失败了，至少我们在奋斗过程中也有一份独特的历练。

就因为我们活着。

Before I Forget

I am just back from a Buddhist Meditation Retreat in Phuket. It is the first time ever that I am doing this and the experience has been gratifyingly fruitful.

While it has a standard schedule to follow, members are free to decide if this is indeed what they want to do. In essence, it is all within one to practise, be it listening in to Dharma talk, participating in the questions & answers session, meditating or simply, doing any other things that one wants to do.

The talks by Ajahn Brahm are simple yet profound, some of which are repeats but nonetheless, important as they are good reminders to us as lay people. It is normal that everyday I have to deal with issues of personal growth, work, people and grapple with the value of me - and Ajahn Brahm has in a lot of ways acted as a beacon by giving new perspectives, making me more aware of the reality, helping me to stay focus and be happy at the present moment.

There is an awareness that persistent and right efforts must be put into place to progress. A balance of active meditation and generosity practices in all aspects covering thoughts, speech and actions help to gain an honest self-knowledge and at the same time be in a more generous and open communication/relationships with others in the community.

Patience in this instance is necessary, be it towards myself, the natural world, or others. Patience with my body, the process of illness and aging, the course of nature, things and people around me.. everything.

What am I becoming? How do I behave, towards me and other people?

Maintaining goodwill and kindness is a good start. This kind of attitude means being patient and generous. Very often, people are not kind to themselves and assume that they are worth less what they are. This is very oftern unconscious and affects behaviour and relationships in some. I guess I am one of such people. So exercising patience and an attitude of metta towards myself by being realistic about illness, towards other people (be it differences, faults or failings) and by applying steady effort in spiriitual life are good takeaways for me from this retreat.

And certainly, using imagination and a willingness to question my disappointments or even anger or indignation plus cultivating the ability to empathise and sympathise will help in my my path of practice.

The subtle peace and knowledge gain from the retreat has followed me even after I left the place. The sense of gentleness is comforting.

Back in this world, there will be distractions and challenges to maintaining this and the path of practice. For sure I will be mindful and continue to try.

Gao Heng

Gao Heng.. is the name my family, more like my mum, gave to the little black glossy hair puppy that came into our home in Paya Lebar many years back.

Mum didn't want to keep him at the beginning because it was already tough feeding the kids. After failing to send him away for 3 rounds and each time, he would come back standing at the door sounding and looking forlorn at mum. I guess this softened mum's heart and decided to take him in.

He was full of energy and very friendly with family. As he grew into a full grown adult, he would spend time playing with the kids and mum's friends. Most importantly, he would stay with mum at her every waking moments,, including those early hours where she conducted her prayers and chanting. He would silently sat beside her and listen in to her every word.. to the God. Should there be any slight unfamiliar sound or movement in the background, he would immediately stand guarded, growled fiercely and tried to protect mum.

He was a much loved companion. We had to leave him with a neighbour when we moved to Tampines. His sorrowful cries and refusal to eat hurt our hearts endlessly.

After so many years.. he must be somewhere good... Mum is no longer with us and today.. I remember him.

Thank you Gao Heng, for bringing so much joy and love to our family and especially.. for protecting mum..

2nd Anniversary

Mum's passing has left an indelible mark.

The lunar month of April and day 19th saw us conducting the rites to remember her by and to send good sincere thoughts and well wishes for a good rebirth with great opportunity to continue with her practice as a Buddhist.

Saw this lyrics and thought it apt to share on the day I remember mum-

May It Be by Enya

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh, how far you are from home

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be shadows call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

Silence..

WY raised a question about himself this afternoon - why doesn't he talk to people very readily?

Come to think of it, I have been sporadically asking myself somewhat a similar yet different question - why have I increasingly maintaining my silence and not talk to any people readily?

Is this silence the same as the one most of us have experienced or know of as absence of words or simple cut off from noise? During such times, is my mind uniquely still or unquiet - one that is filled with words and noise, ideas, questions, desires, doubts, and conflicts.

If this is so, which sometimes is the case, then my silence is only on the surface and there is calamity inside. When I experience such silence, I can easily be tilted by the least external noise. Instead of resulting in peace, this forced stillness may very well get me into annoyance and irritation.

Meditate to assist with my erratic state is of utmost importance and surely I look forward to have silence that is natural and spontaneous and it should well up from the depths within me and overflows with a consistently positive rhythm and harmony.

Now is the moment to revisit it. And I shall.

Attached link is an interesting write-up by Ajahn Sumedho and is here to help me to refresh and learn as I pave my way with baby steps -

http://www.4ui.com/eart/188eart1.htm

On This Day.. I Remember YOU..

Lunar Year of the Rabbit, 3rd month seventh day... my mum was born.

Today, good thoughts and chanting were sent to her.. I miss you mummy..

May you follow the wise, the intelligent and the awakened and live by the Truth to be free from fear and suffering...

May you achieve the sweetness of stillness, peace and calmness as you move onward, never looking back..

Happy Birthday.... I love YOU.. Always..

Your loving daughter
Chin

The Challenge To Change Myself.

Many a times, I hear people moaning about being helpless and powerless to challenge the way things are. And unfortunately I belong to this group too, though in reality, I have been and am still actuley aware that while big and small siuations can be difficult to confront and overcome, we are always able to change ourselves in the face of all these.

I would love things and people around me to be better and to be in a way I want them to be. And very often, it can also be so difficult to go easy (not to mention let go) on the things in life I covet. Truth is, I cannot expect things and people to change. Cos they usually wont. And such situations can be demoralising or even depressing at times.

But life in itself is filled with opportunitites to make small changes that make a big difference, in my life and the lives of others. So, I can at least look at myself and see how changing the way I view and do things and the little ways that I can do to make that difference... to my life, which incidentally is so intricately intertwined with the people I love...

I plan to first take a bit of a break from work and have some time to myself. My goal is simple - breathe, live, love, and learn.

Top things I wish to try ( no specific order ) -

1 Get more exercise and be physically fit ( this is not about going to the gym, it means taking a walk in the park or beach or even... riding a bicycle.)

2 Meditate and be mentally, emotionally aware ( this is not about retreat, it means taking that moment, however short it is, to slow down and be aware of the breath, of the surrounding)

3 Learn culinary skills (this is not about attending classes, it means preparing new recipes and loving breakfast or dinners for my loved ones)

4 Learn effective public speaking ( this is not about work, it means the readiness to engaging people from all walks of life at any point in time)

5 Learn basic colour scheme and make up (heh heh heh... this is about me wanting to learn how to present myself)

6 Be more loving (this is not about loving my hubby and sista, it means the readiness to extend the emphaty and loving kindness to people around us in general)

7 Go easy on myself and people around me ( I worry and fear of things and people too frequently and I end up not being the most agreeable person at the end of the day. This is about learning to let things be and really, I don’t have to live through the insanity do I?)

Now... a simple goal and detailed index card in place.

I just need to be steadily aware of these and start doing them starting May/June! Yay!!