Mum
It may be just a three letter word
But it means so much to me
Mum I do miss you so
Your serene face
Your beautiful toothy smile
Your button nose
Your twinkling little eyes
Your long flowing white hair . . .
Mum I often wonder
How you manage
To overcome all huddles
That block your path
Your serene face
Gives me no clue
Mum I wonder
Despite all odds
You can still continue to smile
That wide toothy smile
Reflecting….
Your motherly love
Your kindness
Your patience
The beautiful smile that lights up our life
Mum I miss the touch of your silky hair
I will always remember the wonderful time shampooing your hair
And massaging your scalp with conditioner . . .
Your sigh of contentment mingle with hearty laughter as water gets into your eyes simply makes my day
Mum I miss the look of enjoyment on your face
When I blow your long silky hair dry after a good wash
Your eyes are close
The humming of the hair dryer
The lightness of your head
Makes you drowsy and slowly, slowly you will just nod off into your dreamland
Mum I miss the time we spend in the bathroom
Giving you a good bath
Spraying water on your face
Rinsing your mouth
Cleaning the remaining two front teeth
Giving you a good scrub on your back
Washing your feet
Drying you with towels
Splashing you with lots of powder
Oh .... how heavenly you smell
Mum I miss the delight in your eyes
Whenever you see me
Visiting you
“Wu mee jia bear?” you always ask
“Wu, chin toi !” I will answer enthusiastically
Munch munch munch
“Hor leow... ah ma par leow”
Sigh.… Mum…Bits of food you consume is simply too little for comfort..
Mum I miss the hello in your voice
When my mobile rings
How glad I am
To receive your call everyday
Oh …. What a good break on a boring day
Mum I miss your sound of wind
When I massage the right hidden spots
On your legs
On your hands
Under your armpits
On your stomach
On your shoulders
On your neck
And on your head
Using my finger tips to tok tok tok
To remove the tension
That causes the headache
You would sigh and
Exclaim how lucky you are
To have Ah Chin and me
Mum I miss the time I spend by your bed
Telling you about Buddha and the Dhamma
“Bor Lan ah, ah ma bor it lit, Mee toh bor it leow leow, Tie tok hor leh”
“Bor kia, bor kia, ah ma wu tim, Ah Neo tie”
Then I would chant
Then you would calm down
Then you would doze off peacefully
Mum I miss the time I spend by your bed
Looking at your dreamy face
While massaging your hands
Listening to the stories of your past
As you try to recall a terrified past
For you to know that you were engaged
At a tender age of 16+
To one whom you never know
To leave your kind parents
Whom you cherished
Loved deeply and cared
A past – married to dad who was really filial
To his parents
Who would do no wrong
Whom he would protect
With all his might
Nobody could say anything bad about them
And he listened to no one
Where his parents was concerned
A past – married to dad
Whose filial piety took precedence
It was a good value
But you had suffered
Because of it
A past – married to dad
Grandma was supposed to be happy
To have a new daughter-in-law
But she was a controller
And a tale carrier
A past – where you had suffered
The body pains
When dad hit you with wooden pole
When he heard grandma said
You were with a man
And not working the fields
Dad never apologize
When he realized his mistake
A past – how you had suffered
For a living
Making joss sticks
Bundle after bundle and yet
Grandma had more to complain
And dad had more to take it out on you
A past – until one day
You could take it no more
You went to your dad
Who refused to let you return
To a home that had no love
A past – where dad pleaded with your dad
For your return
Only when dad promised to hurt you no more
That your dad relented
And persuaded you
Let bygones be bygones
A past – how you had suffered
During the Japanese Occupation
You ran endlessly
Just to hide from them
Through rivers and hills
A past – where you were left alone
When dad had to flee hometown
On a rickety boat
To the unknown South
To seek a future
Oh mum..
With you in the north
And dad in the south
Only communication available
Was news through grandma’s mouth
But mum how blessed you were
Finding that White Figure
Always up there in the sky
Always by your side
When you suffered
Mum how blessed you were
Knowing that White Figure
Was none other than Goddess of Mercy
Staying by you
Through thick and thin of life
Mum how blessed you were
To have Goddess of Mercy and Buddha
By your side
When dad called it a day
And you had five small kids to raise with no finance and help in sight
Mum how blessed you were
To have Goddess of Mercy and Buddha
By your side
To listen to your worries
To listen to your sorrows
To listen to your complaints
To listen to your doubts
To soothe and guide you to overcome these
Mum how blessed you were
To have Goddess of Mercy and Buddha
By your side
When life dealt you with blows after blows
Naughty children
Unfriendly, unruly neighbours
Greedy “ta mei kong”
But with them
You tackled these confidently
Mum your life was blessed
With Goddess of Mercy and Buddha
A legacy you left us
Which we promise
To continue to respect
To follow the path
And to find the ultimate truth
Mum I miss the happy moments when you laugh
At my silly jokes
When I ridicule Meng
When I play cards with you
When your version of the sitcoms
Clashes with mine
Mum I miss the pleasant moments
When I hold you to do gentle walk in the house
To make up for the exercise you need
Only to stop after two laps
“Hor la, ah ma bor lard leow.”
I would tickle you then because of your laziness
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha … you would laugh
But I know, mum, you are not lazy, just tired
Mum I miss the happy moments
When ah Chin and I would fight
To see who kisses you more
On the cheeks
On the forehead
On the nose
On the eyes
On your necks
Hee hee hee hee hee … you would giggle
For you love the kisses from us all
Mum I miss the time I push you in your wheelchair
To
You are delighted and appreciate with glee
When you see beautiful flowers and the big healthy trees
Though the visit is brief
You are happy
Mum I miss the time I push you in your wheelchair
To
Look at the sea
Look at the ships
Look at the skaters
Look at the cyclists
Look at the runners
Look at the walkers
Look at the BBQ-ers
Look at the campers
And look at those dogs !!!
Mum I miss the time I push you in your wheelchair
To see Dr Ng Li Ling for routine checks
You are reluctant at first
And then you oblige
Using my thighs to help you up the stairs
We are finally there
Sitting along the corridor
While waiting for your turn
Talking to you
Feeding you
Each time Dr Ng asks you
“Wah chin hor” you would say
“Yee kong mee” you would ask
“Thank you” you would end
And off we go
Mum I miss the time I push you in your wheelchair
To my C&P office
Up we go
Riding the lifts
Opening the glass doors
You make your famous wave
And your beautiful, radiant and compassionate smile
To all my staff who are awed by you
Mum I miss the time I push you in your wheelchair
To Serangoon Broadway for photo takes
We want you to be proud of us graduates
We want you to be part of our success
We want you to remain in our hearts always
Mum I miss the time I spend
Nursing you back to health
When you remove the cataracts
When you fall
When you cough
When you are running a fever
When your stomach cramps
When you are in hospital
Mum I am so sad and my heart aches
When I see you suffer
Because of a fall
Because of the wind
Because of poor health
Because of us, children
Mum I miss your motherly love
When you worry about ah Chin’s health
When you worry about ah Chin’s marriage
When you worry about ah Chin’s disappointment for not having a kid
When you worry about ah Heng’s liver
When you worry about ah Meng’s future
When you worry about ah Leng’s parents-in-law
When you worry about Mau Jia’s health
When you worry about your grandchildren
When you worry about my old age
“Ah nee ahh, lu some jia tie bor. Bor, lu kow lau leow, lu chew tie kang koh la”
Mum I must confess
I do lie to you during your last leg in this world
So as not to worry you
I know you will forgive me
For I have no intention to cause harm or hurt
It is just LOVE, mum, I love you so ….
Mum we are glad
We walk the Buddhist path as per your advice
We complete your wishes as per your requests
We promise to carry on your legacy
Mum I must learn from you
Your magnanimity
In forgiving us, your children over and over again
For all the wrongs we have done to you
For our imperfections as children
Mum I must emulate you
My role model
For your generosity
For your patience
For your faith
For your humility
For your magnanimity
For your thriftiness
For your bountiful love
For your peaceful ways
Mum I don’t regret
You leaving us at this time to a better realm
It’s not too early
It’s not too late
Just in time as your body’s battery has gone flat
We have used the time we have together very wisely
Mum,
I love you
So much
Before
Now
And Forever....
Your loving daughter ..... Lan..
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